This is Sloth Tracking: a Spooky Poem

 Boys and girls of every age,

Wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

Come with us and you will see

Some weird things out while sloth tracking!

This is sloth tracking! This is sloth tracking!

The females scream while they’re in heat

Every 15 minutes they will repeat.

This is sloth tracking

(we need more caffeine),

And the army ants just got my feet.

In our town, everybody screams,

At the things that bite while sloth tracking!

In this town that we call home

Everybody hails to the jungle song.

Fungus, mold,

And mushrooms too,

Pretty soon they’ll be growing on you!

 I left my machete under my bed,

Now the evil ortiga’s all dripping red.

Of the golden orb spiders, we all beware

Because the six-foot webs are caught in my hair!

This is sloth tracking! This is sloth tracking!

Dead sloths hang from the jungle vines

(this sort of thing just happens sometimes).

This is sloth tracking,

Oh no, what’s that thing,It looks like a zombie covered in slime.

 In our town, everybody screams

At the things, we smell while sloth tracking!

 In this town that we call home

Everybody hails to the jungle song.

It eats all things!

It rusts our bikes!

It breaks our tech in the dead of night! 

We wave our antenna all through the air,

But the signal’s bouncing everywhere.

Follow it in circles till we disappear

I really can’t believe that I volunteered. 

This is sloth tracking! This is sloth tracking!

Monkeys howl from the canopy

Strange things crunch through the fallen leaves.

This is sloth tracking,

Lost in the deepest green,

And something growled from the dark unseen.

In this forest, everybody screams

But no one hears while you’re sloth tracking! 

In this wood that they call home

Everybody hails to the jungle song.

The humans here

Have much to fear

Cause the wild things rule when the night draws near.

*A poem inspired by "This Is Halloween" from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Here are some of our favorite spooky sloth facts and Halloween sloth puns (we apologize in advance for a couple of them).

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Oh, the places you'll go! Tracking Diaries #5

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Tales From the Jungle: Slothober